Many of us get angry at people when we don’t hear what we want to hear. It is a very common reaction! This response of ours has built over the years, maybe because of the way we were brought up or just something that we adapted from our environment. But then, we would agree this reaction doesn’t do any good to us; rather, we end up doing terrible to ourselves and those around, even taking an extreme step in some cases. And, most of the times, it cannot change the situation also that led to the reaction in the first place. So why not behave in a way which doesn’t do any harm (mentally or physically) to us or those around? What if we train ourselves to be happy irrespective or at least don’t become red-faced?
I have experimented a lot with my emotions and have been successful at reaching a stage wherein I give it a damn! It is not that I am not taking it seriously, but I am showing least of reactions. Consider, for example, a situation in which I was not extended an Offer Letter for a high profile job because of a last minute policy change by HR of a Bank. I cleared all the rounds of interviews and would have joined as a VP…at my level of experience, it is not common. I talked to the respective contacts multiple times but nothing could be done in the end, since they didn’t want to do an exception for just me. I did feel pretty bad because it would have been a huge jump in my career. But my frustration and anything I could have said would have not altered the situation. So, I accepted my fate and moved on.
There are times when we get angry with our family members. The key to avoid conflicts in such situations is to stop talking immediately and give the conversation a bit of break. Some people take deep breaths also, which helps a lot. Maybe go out and do some shopping (my wife loves to follow this) or just be with nature (as I like to do). In fact, I like to stop the conversation, go out on walks and do others things I love. Sometimes, when you get back together, you will feel the situation is not even worth talking about. At least you have not spoiled your day! If you indeed have to resolve the issue, try dealing with it peacefully.
Another important aspect is to not over-think about anything. We all have limited time in this world, and will not take away anything whatsoever, so why bother? Just calm down and move on…there is always another day. For me, that opportunity could come another day…it might not look that lucrative then, but I cannot change the past. Though I can feel happy that I did pretty well!
The last point nailed it. Over thinking does more harm than what actually is. Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood I ask myself why I’m feeling so, if I get an answer I try to find a solution. If I dont get an answer, I tell myself I’d rather be happy then worrying about something for no reason. Happiness is more than just a state of mind, it has slowly become a habit for me. That way I decide when I get to be happy and when I dont. I dont allow others to decide that 🙂
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You are on your way to a blissful life, if you have mastered the art of controlling emotions/happiness 🙂
Happy to read your comment, Ashwini.
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Great tips!
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Thank you!
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Excellent post Alok. We should keep going.. very well written.. 🙂
A Rat’s Nibble : Flipped
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Very true, thank you!
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A gentle reminder to all of us, this post it. 🙂 I read or heard somewhere recently, what seems such a big problem now/today might not be such a bigger problem in a week or two. Only if we all learn to keep our cool, world will be a much peaceful place. I like your wife’s idea 😛
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True, calmness pays in the short and long run. I am becoming like my wife too 🙂
Thank you so much for coming by.
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Calm down and move on. How hard is it? Very! The benefits we reap also high, just by calming down. Gotta remember this next time. 🙂
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Yes, with practice it will not be tough. Keep trying…
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Great advice, Alok!
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Thank you 🙂
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Great points made here, Alok…we really sometimes overdo things by thinking a lot…
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I don’t over think now and found a bit of happiness through it.
Thank you for adding.
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Good post Alok on Abdul Kalam. You are very right, if we want people to remember us after we are gone, will have to so something extraordinary like him.
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Yes, dear. Hope we can follow his path to some extent at least.
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My Dear Alok, Good post. Yet, to quote You, it cannot be a case of ‘ showing least of reactions.’ Reactions are Uncontrolled, Not under Our control. Hence to be avoided.
‘Accepted my fate and moved on’ is Better. YET, weak creatures that we are, the outcomes are not totally to do with the ‘Other,’ with Nature, the behaviour of others (alone). It is like the Heredity vs Environment of Psychology. Too many elements are involved to simply put things under ‘fate.’
Coming to Your ‘not over-think about anything,’ this is a Very good point.
In line with that, may I ask You to peruse my: https://lovehappinessandpeace.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/how-achieve-happiness/
Regards. 🙂
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Thank you very much for your inputs, Swami Ji…i appreciate you giving us your valuable insights.
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I am following the same. It’s best to not to over think. Liked this article very much. 🙂
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Thank you so much, Namrata. Happy to know you are on track already 😊
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Yes, it seems that every day can bring moments where we can over-analyze and let emotions run wild when taking a step back, taking a deep breath and realizing what beauty is in our lives and then :-)… a smile does wonders. Great post.
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At the end of the day happiness counts, so why not do so.
Thanks for adding, buddy!
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Lessons for life…thanks for sharing it bhaiyya 🙂
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You’re welcome, dear 😀
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The underlying message is the timeless advice of Krishna in Gita to focus on the effort and not on reward; the former is in your control, the latter is not. Just be the best you can be, excellence will follow in due time…best wishes, alok..
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Yes, good one in the context 🙂
Thank you for adding.
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Hi Alok. I am completely chilled out now accept when driving sometimes other motorists can be annoying. Thank you for liking my poem Maya! Peace and Best Best Wishes. The Foureyed Poet.
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It is good to be chilled-out in every situation 😊
You’re welcome.
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Very very difficult to do .. but I have been doing the same from quite sometime now.. And it does work.. 🙂
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Good to know that from you 👍
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By the way.. Very nicely written 👍
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Thank you, Monika 😊
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A great post. We all like to be happy but often we dwell on too much thinking which may rob us of our happiness. I hope many people make the most of the advice in this post.
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Thank you so much, Sir…i hope they do!
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By the grace of God.
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I guess it’s ingrained in us to respond in a certain way. Many of us snap immediately while others don’t say much and there are others who just keep quiet but burst out one fine day. And that is the day when things can become really horrible.
Loved your tips. Especially the examples of not getting the offer letter or conflicts with family members.
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Thank you…remaining cool under all circumstances is the key to a happy life. And, it all comes with practice if it is not a natural behavior.
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Totally agree 🙂
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Good and inspiring post.
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Thank you, Binod.
I am elated it inspired you 😊
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Hi Alok,
This is a very inspirational post. And you have provided some very relevant advice. I have been following your posts regularly since I joined indiblogger 3 months back.
I have incorporated some of your thoughts from this post on happiness in one of my articles and have duly credited and linked back to you.
How to be Happy
Do read it and let me know your thoughts.
Thanks!
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Just read yours, buddy…it is awesome! Happiness in a nutshell is what you have defined very thoroughly.
Appreciate you coming by here and adding your precious comments 🙂
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This is so great Alok, you make some good points here about dealing with emotions and not over thinking too much. Thank you for sharing this post, I am always learning and it’s great 😉
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You’re very welcome…we all are learning 🙂
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Thanks Alok, I feel happy already 🙂
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😀
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If one can incorporate half of these points, he/she would attain nirvana. Jokes apart, all these make sense.
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Hahaha…introspection is what is needed!
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Great Post Buddy 🙂
I got lost completely while reading 🙂
Thanks for this post.. keep it up !!
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Thanks for choosing this subject.
The article is self-explaining the details.
1.Stop talking…take deep breadth ….go out.
2.Later try dealing with the issue peacefully and
3.The most important of all,not to overthink about anything.
Worth trying.
Thanks.
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Yes, absolutely.
Thank you very much for your comment.
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Not to Overthink!.Yes,very correctly said!.That single piece of advice can avoid lot of unhappiness
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I am in complete agreement with you Alok Ji. These are invaluable thoughts for sure.
Jitendra Mathur
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My pleasure sharing it, Ji 😊
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