Secret to Happiness

~ Alok Singhal

Many of us get angry at people when we don’t hear what we want to hear. It is a very common reaction! This response of ours has built over the years, maybe because of the way we were brought up or just something that we adapted from our environment. But then, we would agree this reaction doesn’t do any good to us; rather, we end up doing terrible to ourselves and those around, even taking an extreme step in some cases. And, most of the times, it cannot change the situation also that led to the reaction in the first place. So why not behave in a way which doesn’t do any harm (mentally or physically) to us or those around? What if we train ourselves to be happy irrespective or at least don’t become red-faced?

I have experimented a lot with my emotions and have been successful at reaching a stage wherein I give it a damn! It is not that I am not taking it seriously, but I am showing least of reactions. Consider, for example, a situation in which I was not extended an Offer Letter for a high profile job because of a last minute policy change by HR of a Bank. I cleared all the rounds of interviews and would have joined as a VP…at my level of experience, it is not common. I talked to the respective contacts multiple times but nothing could be done in the end, since they didn’t want to do an exception for just me. I did feel pretty bad because it would have been a huge jump in my career. But my frustration and anything I could have said would have not altered the situation. So, I accepted my fate and moved on.

There are times when we get angry with our family members. The key to avoid conflicts in such situations is to stop talking immediately and give the conversation a bit of break. Some people take deep breaths also, which helps a lot. Maybe go out and do some shopping (my wife loves to follow this) or just be with nature (as I like to do). In fact, I like to stop the conversation, go out on walks and do others things I love. Sometimes, when you get back together, you will feel the situation is not even worth talking about. At least you have not spoiled your day! If you indeed have to resolve the issue, try dealing with it peacefully.

Another important aspect is to not over-think about anything. We all have limited time in this world, and will not take away anything whatsoever, so why bother? Just calm down and move on…there is always another day. For me, that opportunity could come another day…it might not look that lucrative then, but I cannot change the past. Though I can feel happy that I did pretty well!

167 thoughts on “Secret to Happiness”

  1. The last point nailed it. Over thinking does more harm than what actually is. Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood I ask myself why I’m feeling so, if I get an answer I try to find a solution. If I dont get an answer, I tell myself I’d rather be happy then worrying about something for no reason. Happiness is more than just a state of mind, it has slowly become a habit for me. That way I decide when I get to be happy and when I dont. I dont allow others to decide that 🙂

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  4. A gentle reminder to all of us, this post it. 🙂 I read or heard somewhere recently, what seems such a big problem now/today might not be such a bigger problem in a week or two. Only if we all learn to keep our cool, world will be a much peaceful place. I like your wife’s idea 😛

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  9. My Dear Alok, Good post. Yet, to quote You, it cannot be a case of ‘ showing least of reactions.’ Reactions are Uncontrolled, Not under Our control. Hence to be avoided.

    ‘Accepted my fate and moved on’ is Better. YET, weak creatures that we are, the outcomes are not totally to do with the ‘Other,’ with Nature, the behaviour of others (alone). It is like the Heredity vs Environment of Psychology. Too many elements are involved to simply put things under ‘fate.’

    Coming to Your ‘not over-think about anything,’ this is a Very good point.

    In line with that, may I ask You to peruse my: https://lovehappinessandpeace.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/how-achieve-happiness/

    Regards. 🙂

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  11. Yes, it seems that every day can bring moments where we can over-analyze and let emotions run wild when taking a step back, taking a deep breath and realizing what beauty is in our lives and then :-)… a smile does wonders. Great post.

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  13. The underlying message is the timeless advice of Krishna in Gita to focus on the effort and not on reward; the former is in your control, the latter is not. Just be the best you can be, excellence will follow in due time…best wishes, alok..

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  18. I guess it’s ingrained in us to respond in a certain way. Many of us snap immediately while others don’t say much and there are others who just keep quiet but burst out one fine day. And that is the day when things can become really horrible.

    Loved your tips. Especially the examples of not getting the offer letter or conflicts with family members.

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  20. Pingback: How to be happy - Hooray For Life

  21. Hi Alok,

    This is a very inspirational post. And you have provided some very relevant advice. I have been following your posts regularly since I joined indiblogger 3 months back.

    I have incorporated some of your thoughts from this post on happiness in one of my articles and have duly credited and linked back to you.

    How to be Happy

    Do read it and let me know your thoughts.

    Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

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  25. Thanks for choosing this subject.
    The article is self-explaining the details.
    1.Stop talking…take deep breadth ….go out.
    2.Later try dealing with the issue peacefully and
    3.The most important of all,not to overthink about anything.
    Worth trying.
    Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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