What it takes for a Relationship to Thrive!

There are many things I don’t understand about women, no matter how hard I try. Maybe that’s the reason they say ­Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

I left my home for studies when I was 17, and until my marriage in 2009, I lived with boys. Living with boys gives you a lot of information about girls, except for how to handle their emotional content. Even after close to seven years of marriage, I am not good at it. I don’t know how to react to something my wife feels very strongly about. Though I must confess, sometimes I try hard to find the logic behind her activities, ­like spending half­-an-hour in a store from which she buys nothing, looking through every section of the grocery store when she already has a list with her. I simply fail to understand her psychology!

So, when we got married, I might have said a few things that hurt her. The words that were just a suggestion for stop wasting time on random and unnecessary activities used to shatter her. Honestly, as a new couple, we fought over it too. It’s with time I understood (and accepted) why she behaves in a certain way – stopping at every aisle in the grocery store, going to the mall to buy a t-shirt and coming back with a bag full of clothes, getting annoyed on jokes when I want to have a bit of fun and lighten up the environment. Now I know it all! I think if I had a girlfriend before marriage, I would have known a lot about ladies’ behavior; rather could have been much wiser at that, maybe even exceeding expectations after marriage 🙂


But when I look back, I feel it’s not much about being a man or a woman. It’s a simple human psychology that works in a relationship. When she wants to be heard, she will repeat it like a child. If she is bored, she will change channels on the TV, like I shut off my system and go for a walk when I am bored. It’s only the understanding and the reaction that is different. Our desires are the same – to be heard, loved, cared, and understood. Everything else stems from it. It’s only with time one gets to know the desires of a person you are in a relationship with. That is why most of the marriages break in the initial years if the couple has a tough time adjusting to each other.

Another aspect why it is not about the gender perse is because I have seen gay partners fighting over the same issues, on which we fight. If two men are in a relationship, shouldn’t they know about every emotional mumbo-jumbo and have a smooth sailing? No! Strangely, a relationship doesn’t work on the basis of your sex, as much as one would like to believe otherwise. Stay-at-home dads are perfect examples of the line becoming thinner day-by-day. In the modern society, respect for emotions, care, and respect have transcended traditional boundaries, which were earlier defined by the gender type in a relationship. To have a successful relationship, it’s better to concentrate on and iron out the issues that cause differences.

I may not understand why my wife cribs when I watch Cricket matches back to back. I am free, and I am at a liberty to utilize my time any way I want. But, I should go to the kitchen when she needs my help. I should get up and answer the door. As these are the things I too would want when I am working and she is relaxing with a book.

When they say marriages are made in heaven, I smirk and pour my wisdom on it – ­even if marriages are not made in heaven, they can be made heavenly with care and understanding.

82 thoughts on “What it takes for a Relationship to Thrive!

  1. Oh you guys looks really good together 💜

    Very nicely said ‘­even if marriages are not made in heaven, they can be made heavenly with care and understanding’.. I really loved reading this post.. every couples story ☺


  2. Very nicely written!!! two people being together for a lifetime is different than two people leading separate individual lives. In a relationship it’s about doing things together rather than doing individual things..


  3. Haha! Believe me, having a girlfriend earlier is surely not the solution to more about women earlier than later in life. I guess each woman is also different in the way she reacts to different situations ;). But yeah its all about making marriages and relationships work because as they say a car doesn’t run with one set of tires or one cannot clap with one pair of hands.

    Your last line is perfect in that context :).


  4. Such a great post! You say it as it is. I’ve seen a lot of my elders get into petty fights and it would be nice if everyone had an understanding like this. But, ultimately, it all takes time and we just have to be patient. 🙂 Hope you and your wife have a wonderful week. Stay blessed!


  5. As I read the first half of your post, I wanted to immediately respond to say it’s not about women only, it’s the personality. Thankfully, you addressed that in the second half of the post 🙂 Have you read the book Personality Plus by Florence Littaeur? She writes about the 4 main types of personality found in everyone; each person has a blend of 2 personalities; and which personality tends to be drawn towards (or run in opposite direction!) another personality. Also, understanding these 4 personality types helps not only in relationships between husband and wife, but relationships in general (family, friends, colleagues, etc). I read her book back in 2006 and it has helped me tremendously in understanding and relating to people of different personality types.


  6. This is so interesting. Hope I can learn from your blog posts. I’ve just published a post about how my relationship works and how I think it will change when we move in together next month. Worth a read if you’re interested.


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